Blue Neighbourhood
by everythingbooksandmusic
Summary: Loving in a blue neighbourhood is hard especially when you don't fall into the category of normal... NOTE:I made a terrible mistake in publishing the last one. I'm terribly sorry about that. I didn't have time to check it. Hope this doesn't end up like the last one.
1. Chapter 1

_PROLOGUE_

Only the calm, blue water was seen for miles ahead. Deep and crystal clear, only to be disturbed by the wind rippling through it. The ocean, stated in the simplest of words, was beautiful. Blue and perfect, like the eyes of someone too painful to remember. His only thoughts were on those brilliant blue eyes. The cliff overhanging the ocean had a perfect view of the calm water but his mind was far from admiring its beauty. He felt utterly at peace as he stared into the void of the ocean. He drew a haughty breath and took one last decision, before the darkness consumed him.

Most people come into our lives and leave in a sudden, some staying longer than others. But only few ever dare to leave a footprint on it. Some however, we only have to meet once before completely forgetting how our lives were without them. Then we look at certain people thinking how well they fit together, even if they have only met a second before. It is as if they have known each other for their whole life. It can only be our guess that it was what everyone thought upon seeing Troye and Matthew.

The two boys were only nine when they first met, after Troye moved to a barely populated suburb. Their friendship sprang immediately from the first moment they set eyes on each other. It was special, unlike every friendship they have had before. Theirs was nothing if not mystical with all the innocence of childhood. Nothing else mattered if only, they had each other.

The suburb was theirs to rule, there was nothing that they enjoyed more. Whether it was playing with makeshift swords, diving into the sea from the pier or simply running around screaming, the boys' laughter never ceased to be heard. Troye was quite fascinated with the way the sun sparkled on Matthew's earring in a most dazzling way. Matthew simply took pleasure in waving Troye goodbye as he drove away on his bicycle, while Troye looked down from his balcony. They both took a naive delight in observing Matthew's father overhauling boats.

Not everything in their lives were pieces of cake however; especially Matthew's. His father, when drunk was a demon of all sorts and quick to lose his temper. His outburst at their BBQ proved that fact to be correct. But he was a loving father nonetheless to little Matthew. Matthew too returned a love that was eternal.

When summarising it all up to simple points, both boys found happiness within each other and from each other, no matter what ups and downs the life took. They were indulged in the safe haven that was childhood and never wanted it to change. Both wanted to be forever young, carefree and wild. But as all things change and eventually fade away, they too began to change and grow up. Their feelings and ideas changed and matured as life had its way with them. Their friendship, however was the only thing that remained unchanged. That, too was correct only up to a point.


	2. Chapter 2

_WILD_

Traditions and beliefs are so deeply rooted in the society that most of us are comfortable with embracing them as they are. But some decide to bend them, twist them and create something extraordinary out of the ordinary. For them the world is nothing but challenging. However, it cannot be helped when feelings surpass tradition not to create something magical.

Troye, being the shy little boy, had never been daring enough to kiss a girl or much less, get close to one. He had never needed anyone beyond his best friend, Matthew, a truth he realized that was to remain forever. It was not as if these feelings came easy to accept but it was not easy to forget how Matthew's laughter echoed, even in his dreams.

Childhood crushes were not easy to grow out of, even when they remained on the verge of disapproval. It was particularly hard when it was your best friend. No matter what others said was right, Matthew couldn't quite forget how captivating those blue eyes were. The very first thing he had fallen in love with.

Neither of them had the slightest idea as to when it all changed; when everything took a sharp turn into a world beyond friendship. They were walking along the shore, drunk in laughter and bathed in the setting sunlight, not caring about the oncoming dusk. Then in all of a sudden Troye noticed something new about Matthew.

"Did you change your earring Matty boy?" he asked.

"I did in fact," Matthew twirled his earring, "Do you like it?"

"Let me see it first", Troye reached up to get a closer look, "The last one was better," he said, a tad-bit disappointed.

Matthew was suddenly aware of how close Troye's face was to his. He turned his face and his stormy grey eyes were looking down at brilliant blue ones. Matthew gently placed a hand on Troye's cheek.

"M- Matt...," out came a whisper from Troye.

"I don't know what's happening," Matthew uttered breathlessly.

"Do we have to know each and everything?," Troye asked softly as his lips moved across to meet Matthew's awaiting ones as the rest of the world melted away to nothingness.

There were countless kisses, after that, up on fences and up on walls. Nothing else mattered when they were in each other's arms, it was all the comfort and safety they needed. Troye couldn't help but smile as he walked home, after yet another evening spent on the sand. Matthew's eyes promising another adventure the day after, as they always had. The new arrangements he had made with Matthew were certainly alluring. But it was a long wait before he saw Matthew again. He ran a hand through his messy hair grinning stupidly, resisting the urge to laugh. Everything looked so different now...that he was in love? Not that he was sure. But nothing had ever driven him so wild. It was his secret. Their secret. A secret that could not be exposed. After all, they were living in a blue neighbourhood.

 _FOOLS_

Matthew was dazed. It was only seconds after Troye left, the only person he had ever felt comfortable with. He was always there, even if he had a thousand other things to do rather than comforting a friend. That was what he was doing, what was it? Hours ago? He didn't care to remember. Troye's long arms had felt like heaven. They were only hugging, but one thing always led to another. Just like their first kiss did. It was slow, a silent promise of always being there for each other. The memory brought a smile to Matthew's lips, which quickly faded away as his father entered into his room. A father that was supposed to be away for a couple more hours. One look at his face and he knew something was out of place.

"You're early, dad", Matthew said softly, not wanting to anger his father.

"I saw you", His dad spat. "Waited till I went out didn't you?"

Matthew gulped. The day he had been anticipating had come. "Saw what dad? You're not making any sense", he managed to utter at last.

"Don't you dare play a fool with me!" his dad shouted and grabbed the front of his shirt, hauling him up into a standing position. "I saw you locking lips with that faggot"

"His name is Troye, not faggot. And I love him", he knew they were the wrong words to say, the second they were out.

"Come again Matthew", his dad pushed him back onto his bed. "What did you say?"

"I said-I said, I love him", Matthew whispered. He knew that his father had strong hands. Just not exactly how strong. So he did not know what to expect as his father's hand came sailing at his face.

"I won't have a faggot for my son. And if that boy ever comes back again, I'll kill both of you. Do you understand me?", when Matthew said nothing he shouted again. "DO YOU?"

Matthew managed a weak nod. It was going to be a long day.

Matthew's father regretted what he did. Nonetheless, he had been right. All those long telephone calls, his son sneaking to his room later than usual and all those visits to that boy's house; they had all been leading up to something. He only wished he could have seen it sooner. He did not want to hit his son but all that anger HAD to go somewhere. No, he had done the right thing. He definitely did not want a faggot for his son.

Matthew cried himself to sleep that night. He did not want to face his father the day after, yet he had to. His father wanted him to come along with him to his work place. Which, Matthew took as his father's way of making up. But he was broken. Most of all, he did not want to face Troye. So when he came visiting, it was not pleasant, not at all.

Troye came around midday. Matthew pretended not to see him. But his father was not so reluctant to let go of the chance he had to end whatever relationship they had. So Matthew had to go and face one of his worst fears. Troye, his hair ruffled, was looking at him expectantly. Now Matthew had to go and destroy all that hopes. And so he did.

Troye was unnerved when Matthew flinched away from his touch at first. Then his words hit him quite hard. The way he pushed Troye when he tried to cup his cheek was unsettling too. But the words were the hard part. They always are, aren't they? Whereas sweet, innocent promises had been made were now transformed into harsh, hateful orders. Ordering him to never come back, to never lay a finger on him. Troye stood frozen as Matthew walked away and into his father's arms who embraced him and patted him a well done. Then he slowly turned around, still unbelieving, still quite sure that this was some cruel joke but Matthew never did come back and hugged him as he had done countless times before. So he dragged himself home with a sinking feeling that it was all over and done. His forever was a lot shorter than he had expected.

Matthew watched as Troye walked away without looking back once. He couldn't be blamed for that, could he? He watched and watched as their unspoken promises, their laughter, their safety and their happiness ceased away into a dull echo in his heart.

Troye sauntered, aimlessly, along a pathway that had once been not so lifeless to him. He stared at a couple walking towards him. One was a girl from the house next door and the other was his, no, not his any longer, Matthew laughing and chattering, completely oblivious to the world. As they had been, not so long ago. Their intertwined hands reminded him of other memories. Memories where two boys ran together laughing along a different pathway. Another when the same two held onto each other on his bed, so tightly like they would not see each other again. Memories where the other boy's lips had been so close to his, that he could smell his fresh scent. The other boy, who had belonged to him once, but no longer. No longer. How could he ever get rid of those memories, when they were the only thing keeping him alive? Even when a once familiar face had become so strange and lifeless to him? Had he been such a fool to fall in love so easily?


	3. Chapter 3

_TALK ME DOWN_

Matthew hated funerals. He despised them for several reasons. Sometimes he did not feel enough emotions to cry; the others… well…he was _too_ emotional. This particular one stayed somewhere in between. He _had_ to go to this one, didn't he? After all, it was his father.

The past three years had been consuming. Trying to fit in, trying to become the perfect son, he did not have much time left to enjoy his life. Ever since he broke up with Troye, nothing had ever felt right. It was like a part of him was missing. He hid theses true feelings of course, otherwise his father would have kicked him out of the house. So he dated girls, finished school, went to college, all the while dying from the inside. And now, his father was dead.

He had wished his father dead countless times, but when the news finally came it was not easy to take in. His father's addiction to alcohol had finally overpowered him. Matthew was not entirely saddened by this, part of him was happy. He hated that part. So he dressed up in black and walked to the graveyard, with his hand in Tanya's hand.

Tanya, his girlfriend. Another face. Another name. The same dull feeling. Nonetheless, he was glad. He wouldn't have been able to go through anything if he did not have someone by his side. So, on he walked into the graveyard to stand before the freshly packed grave of his father. And he let his tears flow, not caring about the strangers, grateful again for Tanya's warm hand intertwined with his and realizing that he was going to miss his father.

Troye saw the crying figure beside the grave. The tall boy leaning on a girl for support. He knew Matthew only cried when he was truly upset and felt glad that he _did_ come. He promised himself not to meddle in the other boy's life ever again, but this was an exception. He watched as everyone left the grave, leaving the boy alone. He watched as the other boy sunk down to earth, his face in his hand. Troye wanted to go and tell him that everything was alright, that he was here. But that was only empty regret. Besides it did not feel right to take chances on the day of Matthew's father's funeral, the person who had put restrictions on their love. Not that it stopped his feelings nor that racing of heart every time he saw Matthew. So he too turned around and walked to the steps that led to the graveyard and sat down. Knowing that Matthew would walk that way and see him.

Matthew got up, after what felt like hours. He was drained. But if his eyes did not deceive him, he had seen the last person he dreamt of seeing here: Troye. He could not help but feel a little pang at the thought of seeing him after so long. He knew he should not be feeling so excited but he could not help it. Not even on the day of his father's funeral. So he walked away from the grave, hoping that Troye had not left.

His hopes never came true, but this one did. He saw Troye sitting on the steps to the graveyard. Looking at nothing in particular, just gazing, completely oblivious to the world. Troye did not notice when he walked up to him and touched his shoulder.

Troye was thinking about their last kiss and how he had felt completely at peace in those few moments. Which, he was pretty sure, must have been the same for Matthew as well. If only… Again, too many possibilities that would never come true.

He was so indulged in his thoughts that he was taken completely by surprised when a hand touched his shoulder. He looked up to see an all too familiar face looking down at his own. He stood abruptly to face a pair of stormy grey eyes as nervous as his own.

Quite to Matthew's surprise Troye put his arms around Matthew, ending all his doubts, while he buried his face in the crook of his shoulder. They stood like that for several blissful moments. When they finally broke apart, Troye waited for the other boy to say something, anything at all.

"I never thought you'd be here" Matthew smiled, despite his tears.

"Why wouldn't I be?", Troye asked as Matthew's face creased into a frown.

"Well you know…he…"

Troye put his finger to Matthew's lips, silencing him. "Shh… It doesn't matter"

"Even after all this time?", Matthew asked anxiously.

Troye smiled. "Always"

Matthew looked down. "Um…Troye, I've got to say something", he said.

"What is it?"

Matthew sounded nervous. "This is probably the last you'll see of me."

"What?", Troye asked. "Why is that?"

"I'm moving", Matthew said, still not meeting Troye's eyes.

Troye was taken aback. This was something new. "Moving where?"

"We are going to England. To-to study"

"Who's we, Matt?", Troye asked. "And what's wrong with studying here? You studied here for most of your life, I don't see why you can't do it now."

"It's just me and Tanya. She got a scholarship in England and my aunt is there too. Considering that I've nowhere else to go…"

Troye was confuse. "Tanya? Oh, she's your girlfriend", Troye said with a certain bitterness to his voice.

"Look, Troye-"

"You know what, Matthew? I waited all these years, hoping and praying that you'd finally come around. And now you say that you're leaving." All the anger Troye had been feeling suddenly come out, shocking even him. "Did any of those years matter to you at all?", he added almost as an afterthought.

Matthew let Troye's words wash over him. After all, he deserved it. "They meant everything to me Troye. If it wasn't for them, I don't think I could've handled anything.", said Matthew, his voice barely more than a whisper.

"I'm sorry, Matt", Troye said quietly, his anger all gone now. "But you could just move in with us you know? Start everything all over again, forget everything that happened..."

"I wish it was that easy." Matthew cupped his cheek.

Troye took Matthew's hand in his own. "Nothing ever works the way we want them to, isn't that so? But anything as long as you are happy", he said, hiding the pain in his voice.

"I'd be happy", Matthew nodded, absent mindedly. "For your sake.", he said and moved in as he was going to kiss Troye.

The moment was broken as an overly anxious female voice shouted from the bottom of the steps. "Matt, it's getting dark. We've to go now." It was Tanya.

Matthew stepped back hesitantly. After a whispered goodbye, he ran down the steps without waiting for a reply. So he didn't hear the whispered "I love you" from Troye, nor noticed the tears that wet his cheek. Troye too turned back to leave, realizing that it was all over. Knowing it was time to stop living in the past. Trying to stop himself from building anymore castles on clouds.

Matthew didn't want to leave Troye. He didn't want to go back with Tanya. He wanted to go back and say that he was sorry for everything. But he didn't. Instead he let himself be dragged by her, who understood nothing about his feelings. A sudden realization dawned on him. He was tired of lies. Tired of hiding everything. Tired of faking his feelings. The only thing he wanted was Troye. Was that too much to ask? Did everything in his life have to be jagged pieces and broken threads? He had cut himself on those jagged edges. Those scars too deep to heal. He was tired of all this, of this blue neighbourhood. Had he been such a fool to never realize there was no future for them? Nowhere their wild dreams would come true?

He wrenched himself free of Tanya's grasp and ran back towards the cemetery, leaving the bewildered Tanya behind. His destination was a cliff he passed only moments ago. He knew that this time, no one would be able to talk him down. Not even Troye.

Just as Troye turned to leave, a shrill scream cut through the air. It sounded suspiciously like that girl's. Instead of leaving, he ran in the direction of the sound. It wasn't hard to be found. She was standing on a cliff overlooking the ocean, one hand clasped over her mouth, muttering the same words over and over again.

"He jumped! Oh God he jumped!" It did not take a genius to figure out what she meant. But Troye still couldn't believe his ears.

"Who did what?", he demanded, shaking the stunned girl by the shoulders. "What happened? Tell me!"

"I-It was Matt. He just ran here and oh-" A fresh set of tears sprang from her eyes. "He-he said he loved y-you and…" She started sobbing again.

Everything seemed to slow around Troye. His head felt too full and empty at the same time. Memories came flooding in. Memories of two boys, spending time together in the sand, in the woods, everywhere. Memories of two teenagers running along the shore. The sunset had never been that perfect. Memories of stolen kisses under staircases and on rooftops. Memories of Matthew crying on his shoulder. Memories that were warm and alive, so unlike him. Troye looked at the soft waves beneath, then back up at the stormy grey sky, like the eyes of a certain someone, now only confined to a memory. And he felt himself falling too. Falling into the dark abyss of things unknown.

A/N: Sorry if this was quite a long wait. I was busy with school and stuff. Thanks for everyone who has been reading this story. This will never be the perfection that is the Blue Neighbourhood Trilogy itself, which is the Troye Sivan legacy (in my opinion anyway). Love Troye Sivan always for he is the ultimate god of…what? Everything I guess. =]


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